SE Asia

*Okay, so I've decided to post this blog because a) i've finished my trip in SE Asia and b) I got a job for the summer in Tokyo, so I won't be able to upload pictures until at least the end of July. For that reason, I give you my SE Asia blog sans pictures. I'll try and get them on here to fill in all the blanks as soon as I get home. Hope you like the post as much as I enjoyed living it.*

Hopped on a plane to Tokyo and sat there for 12 hours. Luckily, they've upgraded the little TV screens and now everyone (not just business class) can choose what they want to watch and when. You can also play a bunch of games. I also had the entire row except for the seat farthest from me. This all made for a comfortable flight that was one of the easier of the now 14 times I've done the flight. But unlike the previous times, I didn't go through customs and instead boarded a 7 hour flight to Singapore on JAL. JAL is nice. GREAT food, way nicer japanese girl flight attendants, and clean, comfortable everything. Ended up getting to my hostel at about 2 in the morning.

When I got into my room with a total of 6 beds, there was only one other guy in there, a French bloke named Nicolas. We immediately became friends and I spent the rest of my pre-tour time in Singapore hanging out with the mofo.

My whole time in Singapore was absolutely amazing. I love that country/island/city quite a bit and could imagine living there for sure. Absolutely wonderful people, all of whom can speak English with a funny Indian/Chinese accent, cheap and delicious food at the hawker stands like Newton Circus, outstanding architecture, and of course tons of shopping. It's also spotless, as littering can land you a $500 fine. Another nice thing is that almost the entire place is walkable, so I really felt like I got the complete picture of what Singapore is about. That's a nice feeling to have when traveling, I think.

My first day, we went around Orchard Road, the esteemed shopping mecca of Singapore. I scoped out the store that sold Original Fake. They had all the good stuff that sold out too fast in Japan, but it was too expensive, so I passed on that grass. We then walked around the river area taking in the sights and having a ridiculously expensive Singapore Sling at the Raffles Long Bar where the drink was invented. At least there were free peanuts with shells you could throw on the ground, a la old school Lone Star. Honestly, I'm starting this blog a little too late (8 days into my trip) to recount every last detail so let's skip to my first night.

Nicolas and I went bar-hopping to several places around Singapore, which isn't cheap given that a beer costs at least $10-12, but it definitely is fun. After a couple drinks and a hookah bar, we went to Ministry of Sound, a club that I think is from London but expanded around the world. The main floor was playing hip-hop, which wasn't that cool, but upstairs...oh man. There was a disco room complete with saturday night fever dance floor, countless disco balls, and a DJ taking requests. He even played "Last Train To London" by ELO per my request. I also somehow got in with a guy who had a club security guard. He liked me and wanted to get me drunk, but it wasn't gay, don't worry. After giving me his card, I learned he was an oil broker and probably totally loaded. Needless to say, this night was great, drunk, and at least half-memorable.

It's too bad I didn't start this earlier, because I don't really remember what we did during the second day. I know we went to the world's largest fountain, which wasn't nearly as cool as it sounds. Really it was the fountain run-off area that was large. We walked around Arab Village and Little India and got food and stuff. Singapore is great because it's like your at DisneyLand. There's a happening area around a bay, Chinatown, and the aforementioned two areas. It's great because you really feel like you entered India or Arabia or whatever, because all of a sudden everything is totally different, from the people to the restaurnts. But a modern hyper-city is always just a few kilometers away.

Anyways, we got a cheap Chinese foot massage at night which felt amazing, just like Bourdain did when he went to Singapore. The people next to us happened to be foreign too, so we made friends and got a few drinks together.

The next day my buddy left, I shopped a little more, then met my tour group. Right now it's 7 other people. 2 sets of 2 sisters, one pair are cool and one never hang out and are weird, one couple including the guy who is the main character in Soulwax's "E Talking Video" and super cool, and one single girl who's nice but quiet. I guess in bangkok the weirdos leave, 4 guys and 1 girl join, so that'll be exciting. So our first night together we got dinner and went to Zouk, the other club "institution" in singapore. A fashion show, dancing, and binge drinking followed.

The next morning we left for Malaysia. The first town was Malacca. It's a nice city, I guess you could say quaint, that was conquered by Portuguese who left a lot of footprints behind. An old church, boats, buildings, etc. It's interesting at first, but I found myself heading to the malls the second day out of boredom. I saw a movie called Escape from Hueng Shi. It was good, if not a little marred by cheesy dialogue and poor acting. But a fascinating true story. I then indulged in fucking KENNY ROGERS ROASTERS. Yes, my favorite childhood/teenage restaurant is still alive and kicking hard in Malaysia. Yum. Oh yeah, I also ate birds nest.

Yeah, so I didn't like Malacca all that much because it was too small and kinda boring. But the next stop was KL baby, Kuala Lumpur. I had read that KL (and Malaysia) was a big mix of ethnicities, but never realized how truly mixed it is. LOTS of head-wrapped Muslims everywhere, Indians, Chinese, and others all together speaking each others languages and english. I swear EVERYONE is bilingual. It's cool.

Highlights from KL: Going to a fish spa. Basically you sit on a bench and put your feet in a pond. Then hundreds of these black little "doctor fish" swarm to your feet and start eating the dead skin off your feet. It was a little crazy, totally tickled, and made my feet feel so awesome afterwards. They're still so smooth and beautiful right now.
The Petronas towers at night. Unbelievably beautiful, epic, awe-inspiring buildings. Probably the coolest buildings I've ever seen really. Going up in the bridge was cool too, but you're only half-way up so that kinda blows.
Planet Hollywood and some other club on the 2nd night. More drinking, bonding with the group, and various debauchery. Only one of the sisters, Naomi, and myself went to the other club and immediately met some KL-ites who had the biggest bottle of Johnny Walker I've ever seen. Upon filling my glass with straight whisky they said "Welcome to Malaysia," and welcome I was. Another guy was hitting on Naomi hard, and offered her a 24 karat gold bracelet he was wearing. Nice people in KL.

To be honest though, KL is not as nice of a city as I was expecting. Some say it just retains it's old charm, but I'd say it's still just a bit run down and they need to put in a lot more money and effort into KL if the Malaysian government hopes it to be the capitol city of a country aiming to be a major world power by 2020.

Then we left for the Cameron Highlands, another very small area but beautiful and much cooler in temperature. This was a welcome relief. I'm wearing jeans right now and NOT sweating my balls away. We got dinner last night at a place that serves "Steamboat," which is almost the exact same idea as shabu shabu, but with thom yum soup. Included in the feast last night was JELLY FISH. Interesting texture, but not much taste. We then went to a little bar where you can sit around a campfire. There was a local named Gil there who was awesome. We chatted about quite a bit because his wife is Japanese and he's been there a bunch. He also entertained with some good jokes and guitar playing.

Today was ridiculously action-packed. Woke up at 8 and headed on a hiking trip in the forest. One word: muddy. Glad I bought a cheap pair of Converse All-star rip-offs beforehand. Then we went to a tea plantation and drank really good tea, ate scones and some indian food (random). Then we were off to an insect farm where I met The Scorpions. I was asking for "Winds of Change," but I guess they weren't taking requests. Then we went to a bee farm which was lame, then a strawberry farm where I had a delicious strawberry milkshake, then an aboriginal "village" consisting of a couple small huts on the side of the road. I blew a blowdart and saw an amazing waterfall.

5/01/08- Okay so after the Highlands, we went to Penang for two days. It's an island that is part of Malaysia. We took a boat over to the quaint little city that I actually enjoyed quite a lot. After landing, we took a walking tour and saw most of the historic sites in the city. It was cool seeing the temples and stuff, but got a little tedious. That night, chloe, naome, tour leader Suze and I went out drinking. The Soho bar was fun. We also walked down to the clubbing area but didn't go in to any because it was too expensive. Then walking around we met an Indian guy who said he'd take us to a great bar. He took us to Soho. This time, though we went upstairs. Decent night, nothing crazy. I did have an amazing hamburger at about 2:30 in the morning, egg and all.

Next day in Penang I saw some temples, a massive reclining buddha, and went to the "world's largest toy museum." I was hoping for PEZ, but they didn't have any. They did have a whole effin' lot of cool toys though. At night, we went to a karaoke bar full of people singing sappy songs in Chinese. Pretty lame, though when the mic came to me, I blew everyone away and all my group was going crazy about it. Yeah I said it, not gonna be modest when it comes to my karaoke skills. I let the girls pick what they wanted me to sing. They chose "Let It Be," and I couldn't believe how absolutely unfamiliar I was/am with that song.

Then we hopped in a bus and crossed the border into Thailand. We were supposed to take a train, but for some magical reason, it was cancelled. So we had about an 8 hour road trip to Surat Thani, a small city where people stay just to get to the boats to the small islands the next day. Nothing too exciting, but good bonding time with the group. One funny story though. I headed out to grab a beer to have at the hotel. Probably about an 8 minute walk. In that 8 minutes, I walked past a "massage parlor" where a woman yelled "Good evening! Want some pussaaay??" Then I saw two stray dogs shitting on the sidewalk, and a massive rat run right in front of me. I thought "Welcome to Thailand" indeed.

And I made up a motto. Your land, my land, Thailand. Catchy as fuck right?

Yesterday, we got to Koh Samui at about 11:30 and to the hotel at about 12:30. This island is gorgeous. It's totally touristy and there's lots of fast food restaurants and cheesy souvenir shops, but it doesn't matter. The beaches are great, and what's wrong with having a brazillian barbeque dinner on a Thai island? Nothing if you ask me.

So that day we all grabbed lunch together. I had an amazing yellow curry with spring rolls and a banana flambe with ice cream. Set lunch- $8. Nice. We then spent the whole day on the beach. The water was warm and amazing. Next, we wanted to decide what to do the next day, so we all grabbed drinks at a little outdoor bar for happy hour. I started a trend by ordering a Long Island Iced Tea, (which I prefer to order as "strong island iced tea") as everyone else followed suit. We got two of them, went home to shower, went back to the bar and had another strong island, then hit the effing town. Went to a random bar in the whore-bar area and played pool with "Jennifer," a stunning man-lady of a person. Then we got into a taxi and went to the clubbing area and I shared a bucket of long island iced tea, yes a bucket, with Naomi. Drunker...drunker. Then we went to a club kinda place and danced our little faces off. I requested some Daft Punk and they played the "Around The World/Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" mix. It was the ultimate jam. Then Chloe threw up everywhere and we had to carry her home.

We stayed out till at least 3 and were all pretty wasted. Then, feeling like 10 minuets later, I hear knocks on my door. Constant, mind-numbing knocks. I realize it's time to wake up and go island hopping and snorkeling- the plan we made around drinks last night. It's 7 in the morning and I still feel totally wasted, but I had to do it, right? So we had a small breakfast (read- toast and jam) and then hopped on a speed boat for an hour or so, to Koh Tao. Did some snorkeling but then I thought I was gonna puke right into my snorkle, so I got out. Got on the boat again, had a delicious lunch that included fried chicken and thai delights like sauteed vegees and a lemon grass chicken soup. I was feeling better, and the 2nd island we went to was just absolutely breath-taking. The snorkeling was much better here. Saw a lot of cool fish and shit. Stubbed the hell outta my toe on coral though, the bastard.

Had brazillian dinner with CJ and Sophie. Good meal, marked the first time I'd tried shark, but not as good as Barbacoa in Tokyo. Yum. It was cheap though, like $30. Then we hit a beach party, complete with a guy dancing with fire and pretty decent funky house music. I hate to admit it, but i'm totally into that Rihanna song "Please don't stop the music." So we drank some more, sat on these cool tables that were like beach chairs that formed a big square with nice pillows and a table in the middle. Comfy stuff. End of the night, CJ, Naomi and I went to a karaoke joint near the hotel. I tried to do "final countdown" by europe, but they put in the wrong song. Some German song called "Rose Rose I Love You" that CJ, having no clue what it was, tried to sing. Hilarious, I tells ya. Then we went to bed.

05/07/08- Coming from Phnom Penh, Cambodia
So the last day in Koh Samui, Chloe, Naomi and I went to check out the waterfall and the "grandmother and grandfather" rocks. Why the people chose this name for these two rocks, I dont know. Let me explain. These two rocks look identical to a massively hard cock and a vagina (which i've discovered some british people call a "foof"...love that). Couldn't they name the rocks something like "The casual acquainances" or "Friends with benefits?" Anyways, pictures.

We then went on a ridiculously long night-time train ride to Bangkok. The train car had these crappy little bunk bed things that lined the walls. I stayed up late enough the night before or something, though, cuz I actually slept really well. Even with the 5 AM vendors coming into the train yelling at every stop.

Arrived at the hotel in the afternoon, got some lunch with the group and then went to some temples, including the royal palace and the world's largest reclining buddha. Pics.

Took a boat ride, went shopping for electronics, hit the night market and then headed to SUPER PUSSY!!!

The following may be a little vulgar, but would you want a paragraph about my night in Bangkok any other way? So we all headed to Patpong, the shady red-light, sex-pat district of Bangkok as a happy little tour group. We found a bar called Super Pussy, thanks to a guy on the street. He took us in and there we were in a bar with 7 pretty nasty, overweight, bored Thai chicks not really dancing on stage, but more like bobbing back and forth on each leg. But every couple of minutes one girl would come in front of the rest, wearing a bikini top, but gracefully letting her vagina hang in the air. Nice look. Then came the tricks. First, a girl smoked a cigarette with her VaJayJay. Next, a girl reclined on her back and shot darts at balloons on the ceiling with an accuracy rate of at least 75%. Then, a girl pulled a string of flowers at least 20 feet long from her foof.

The last trick gets its own paragraph. There's two coke bottles on stage, one has water in it and one is empty. The girl grabs the bottle, leans back, and "drinks" the water with her well-trained you-know-what. She dances a little bit and then squats over the empty coke bottle, only to excrete COLA! Yeah, you though Jesus turning water into wine was cool? Try turning water into cola using only your vagina!

Anyways, the next day in Bangkok was hot, so I went to some shopping malls and ate good Thai food. I also indulged in a kick-ass thai oil massage. Let me lay any rumor to rest right now. There was no happy ending. I swear to god. It did feel great, though. And please don't worry, there are still plenty of opportunites for happy endings in Vietnam, I hear.

That night we went drinking, nothing to exciting, until I get back to my room at 4 AM. Not exciting, but gross. This was the first day I met the 4 new guys in our gruops, and they turned out to be 4 big Australian dudes who are all best bros from way back, wear only tank tops and cargo shorts, have big tattoos, love hardcore music, drugs, and nasty girls. Well I walk in and one of the dudes is in my bed. He's like "Sorry man, didn't know you were coming back tonight and those beds are kinda messy" pointing to the other 2 beds in the room. Well it turns out there was a massive 4 by 4 orgy and I look aruond and there's about 9 used condoms on the floor, broken glass, towels all over the place, and what appears to be shit stains on the bed (this was later confirmed by one of the dudes). Fucking nasty. Luckily, I only had to sleep there for one hour as we were leaving early for Cambodia.

Siem Reap, Cambodia
Let me just say right now, that I am absolutely loving every second of my time here in Cambodia. Some of the others in the group have complained that it smells or is dirty or they beg too much, but I am totally charmed by the whole place. Despite being poor and just years out of a horribly blood-thirsty dictatorship, the people are so welcoming, friendly, and sweet. Honestly, Cambodians might be the nicest people I've encountered ever.

Angkor Wat was stunning. We had a guided tour and the guide was a really nice guy. He seemed to take a liking to me, as he'd keep walking with me and talking without the rest of the group. Near the end of the tour, we had a nice talk about Cambodian politicians, the cambodian outlook on Americans, and about Khmer Rouge. It was fascinating, and sad. He told me his father and lots of his family were killed by the Rouge and that he had to hide deep in the country side, away from everything he knew, so that the regime wouldn't find him. Thank god this country has something like Angkor Wat to attract tourists and bring some kind of money to these people who deserve it far more than most. Hopefully something good comes out of the tourist boom. I should also add that the kids trying to sell you stuff around the temples are great. Totally clever, good English ability, adorable, I actually had some pretty good conversations with them. Good times.

And then came my meaningless second day in Siem Reap. Why? Because for lunch I had a "happy pizza" as can be found on one of the main strips in SR. These pizzas, as you can imagine, are spiced with "special herbs," and after eating 3 slices, I was feeling "happy" for around 8 hours. And by happy, I mean I felt like such a brain-dead burnout retard, that I had to tell my friends that I was going home to take a nap. Man, it was crazy though. Then we had dinner at the Red Piano. Pics. Yum.

And finally, we arrived today in Phnom Penh, a much bigger city than SR. Still, the people are just as nice. Walked around the river front area, and had a nice Khmer dinner. Pics. Took it easy tonight, and that's why I could update this blog. Tomorrow, however, we are going to the killing fields. Should be a sobering day, but I'm looking forward to it thoroughly. Over and out.

05/16/08- Coming from Hoi An, Vietnam.
Yeah the killing fields were absolutely crazy, as there were still bones around your feet and the mass grave holes were left untouched. There was also a stupah (?) filled with the anonymous bones and skulls from said graves. Pretty intense. The high school that was turned into a prison of torture was pretty crazy too. There were still blood stains in certain areas and the beds on which the last 14 people died were left as is. There was even a picture of the corpse found on the beds. Pretty fucked up, but definitely worth learning about.

What better way to wash down the sorrows of Cambodia's unfortunate history than with alcohol? That night we hit a club called Heart of Darkness and had probably the strongest strong island iced teas the whole trip. Did I mention that i've gotten everyone in the group ordering long island iced teas? Yeah, I just tend to start some awesome trends. Anyways, that club kicked ass. Great DJ playing electro and disco and some hip-hop and we all got thoroughly wasted.

The next day we crossed the border into Vietnam and headed to Saigon/Ho Chi Minh City. Awesome place with tons of restaurants and shopping and all that. And just like in Cambodia, some of the nicest people i've ever met. It's amazing in these countries because even though there's beggars everywhere, they're the most pleasant beggars you'll ever encounter. I'd even say it's pleasant when the beggars come up to you, because you can have funny conversations with them.

Anyways the first day we just walked around the markets and ate some pho, which is like Vietnam's take on ramen. It's made with rice noodles and usually beef and served as a soup. Delicious and, like ramen, great for hangovers. No one wanted to go out, so I walked around by myself for a bit, got "happy" with a local dude who kinda turned into an asshole and wanted more money from me, and then went to bed.

The next day I went to the Cu Chi tunnels. Cool place, lame tour guide. He fought in the war (on the American side) and thought himself to be better than everyone else because of it. He never stopped talking on the bus ride there and instead opted to promote his boat tour on the way home. He really sucked, but the tunnels were crazy. You get on your knees and crawl down where Viet Cong soldiers lived for like 10 months underground. The tunnels are so small and hot and it's unbelievable these soldiers could do such a thing. I couldn't make it past the first exit, which was maybe like 20 meters. I was sweating my balls off and totally out of breath.

After that the bus dropped us at the war museum, where you can see horrifying pictures of soldiers holding half blown up corpses, real fetii (plural of fetus) that were affected by agent orange, and all sorts of other terrible things. And to think all that kind of shit is going on right now. I guess people just don't want to learn.

Then we got drunk.

Yeah, the group went to a bar called Go Go, which was touristy and lame. I kinda get annoyed with that aspect of the tour. That is, that the group always wants to drink where all the other tourists drink. I'd much rather hang out with the sweet locals. It's not so bad though, because usually the second place we go has more locals. So two Vietnamese girls started hanging with our group and then took us to Apocolypse Now, the club in Saigon with the oh-so-appropriate name. It was again really fun, and I danced my little ass off.

Next day, I woke up exhausted and hopped on the bus towards the glorious Mekong Delta. We hopped on a boat and met our tour guide for the next day and a half. She took us to a little village where we saw how they make hand-made cement tiles, met a 72 year old blacksmith who was making some sharp ass knives, got followed around by little children yelling "hello!!" and giving us flowers, and even saw where they make coffins. Then we had a kick ass lunch on another little island. It consisted of a crazy looking fish called "Elephant Ear Fish" that you roll up into little spring roll kinda things. Yum! We also saw where they make clay pottery that's shipped all over the world.

Then we got to our "homestay" where we all were sleeping for the night. It was like an old french colonial style house where there really wasn't much else to do except eat dinner and get wasted. We all sat around a table playing a game where you spin a chop-stick and then have to answer a question, usually personal and sexual. Like a spin the bottle truth or dare thing. I passed out after that, only to awaken to stories of how no one could go to sleep because there were bats flying around everywhere. Good thing i missed that.

Next day we went and saw how you make the edible rice paper for spring rolls, as well as some deicious chewy coconut candy. Then we headed back to HCMC and had another night out at Apocolypse Now. Decent night, but the first one was better.

Next morning, woke up about 10 and went to one of the craziest water parks I've ever been to. I guess these slides must have been made for tiny, light-weight vietnamese because they were throwing us all around and just going fast as all hell. Everyone there stared at us like aliens and loved to yell "hello!" and things to us. I enjoyed the attention. I'm gonna say people here are FAR less accustomed to foreigners than Japanese, despite what lots of people seem to think.

That night we hopped on a night train to Nha Trang, and thanks to some chemicals that the Australian guys had, I slept like an absolute baby!!! Woke up in a kick-ass city with a decent beach, lots of nice restaurants, and did i mention ridiculously nice and beautiful vietnamese people??

So we got in about 5 am, I got some pho with the Aussies for breakfast, tried to sleep but didn't, then we all hopped on a boat which turned out to be a booze cruise!! What a day. Cracked the first beer at about 10, docked at some island and then we could jump off the roof of the ship into the water. I made an ass of myself when I tried to do a flip off the top and only ended up hurting my back. That, however, did not stop me from doing my best Anchorman impression where he does a canonball at the party. Then we drank, went to other islands, docked there, instead of getting off just drank more. Then there was "Happy Hour" when they gave everyone a life-preserver and made a floating bar in the water where a guy dished out little cups of vodka and pineapple to our heart's content, and maybe our liver's discontent. More sailing around, more drinking. There was a girl from Hokkaido named Satoko who teached Japan in Singapore, so we were listening to Shina Ringo on my iPod and she knew all the words. Manami, don't worry, she was totally ugly, I promise.

As if that wasn't enough, I got home and took a two hour nap, woke up and had some delicious dinner. I think I had mashed potatos and a burger with an egg on it. Then we went to the main club in Nha Trang, called the Sailors Club or something where I danced my ass off, one of the Aussie's named Joel got naked and ran around in the water, and all sorts of other crazy mayhem. That night was probably the drunkest everyone in the whole group has been together. I'm sure there's plenty of pictures of me licking people's faces. Woops.

Next day, I was sick and hungover as hell, but I did not throw up. Had a nice breakfasat at the same place we had dinner, which was called "SAME SAME BUT DIFFERENT" and hit the beach hard. The water was greenish, but it still felt great, and one of the restuarants on a beach had a pool. So like the little thieves that we are, CJ and I used the pool and didn't even buy anything from the restaurant!! Oh man, can't believe I just put that in my blog!!

And finally, we hopped on another night train which sucked a lot more than the last one. Really bumpy, no valium (oops), even hotter, and the sheets were used this time. But we made it through and are now in Hoi An. Got in again about 5 AM, ate breakfast, and then hit the tailors. I got a custom made brown suit and a black pair of denims. Hopefully they're cool, as the suit especially was not as cheap as I thought it would be.

That's all for now.

05/23/08- Hanoi, Vietnam
And then the worst happened. Right after updating from Hoi An, we were all planning on going to the beach on motor bikes we rented. I of course, being an idiot with machinery, had no idea how to drive mine. Right off the bat, I lost control of the bike and fell off of it, i think the bike landed on me, and I have never felt anything more painful in my entire life. God it sucked. All the pain was in my back, and it's still there, though not nearly as bad. Luckily, the staff at the hotel was ridiculously nice and iced my back, gave me a massage, and when I was hungry but couldn't sit up without supporting myself using both arms, they even fed me pho. Spent the rest of the day bed-ridden. Good lord that day sucked.

The next day I could get up and walk around for at least short periods of time and managed to go get my suit and jeans, both of which fit incredibly well. I also got some loud, funky "Nikes" made for $15 which are pretty cool. Had dinner with the group, got some desert at a bar, and made it an early night.

In the morning, we hopped on a 4 hour bus ride to Hue, a town with some pretty good sight-seeing that nobody in the group went to go see. I guess we were all kinda burned out of temples and the like. My back was feeling good enough to go to the beach, where I was buried in the sand. Some little kids came over to help bury me and seemed to like giving me even bigger boobies than I already have. They were cute and wanted to play games with us and stuff. All the while, some drunk locals kept giving me free beer and talking to me as if I understood Vietnamese.

And yes, just two nights after my bad accident, I managed to get completely wasted, hit the dance floor, and party it up until 4 in the morning. Decent night, but nothing really compared to previous nights on the tour. Actually there hasn't been a completely epic night, in my opinion, since before the fall of Ryan.

The next day we were scheduled to get on a night-train to Hanoi. I had my valiums ready and everything, but then Ockie decided she wanted to fly to Hanoi instead of doing the train. I thought it was a great idea, and so did CJ, so we bought some tickets. Instead of sitting on a train, I spent my afternoon at a 4-star hotel across the street hopping back and forth between a hot and cold jacuuzi, a sauna, and a steam bath. It was an absolute delight! Had some pho on the street, left for the airport, and got on what was probably the shortest flight I've ever been on. Just as I was nodding off, I heard "Flight attendants prepare for landing." That was nice.

Got into Hanoi exhausted and went to bed. Woke up and headed out on my own. Saw the prison where John McCain and many other American soldiers were held captive and tortured. Interesting how most of the pictures there relating to Americans show them smiling and looking like they're having a great time being held captive by non-english speaking soldiers. I'm sure it really was delightful. Then I went to an art museum to se a Japanese photography exhibition that was okay. There was also a buddha exhibit with statues dating back to the 7th century. That was cool.

Then I was walking back to the hotel when a guy stopped me on the street. I assumed him to be just another beggar (which are everywhere here, but I find them kinda charming), but decided to listen to what he had to say. He seemed to be a serious English student and wanted me to teach him some words. So we went to the library, he bought me a drink, and I taught him some vocab from his book which he didn't understand. He then took me around on his bike (yes, I got on a bike again...sorry dad) and showed me a lake where they downed a B-52 bomber and left it as is, and brought me to a museum with some other remnants from the war. I ended up giving him money anyways, but it was a nice little way to spend a couple hours. He also gave me a book.

That night the group had dinner together, went to a bar that was kinda dull, and then went to probably the weirdest club I've ever been to. It was all a bunch of really rich vietnamese men showing off how many bottles of whiskey they could buy, while the only women were the waitresses who danced at said men's tables.

I should mention that we also decided to have a hat party that night. We drew names the day before and had to give a hat to whoever we picked. I had Suze, the tour leader, and opted to buy her a pair of men's "tommy hilfiger" briefs. Chloe had me and gave me a little baby cap complete with a bottle from which I drank my beer. Anyways, by the time we got to the club we had all switched hats around, and drunken Chloe put the briefs on me, over my pants. So I was running around, wasted, at this totally fucked up club with underwear on over my pants. I'm pretty sure that's the fastest way to find any gay men at a club while scaring away the few girls that are there at the same time. Ah, good times. I guess...got me a lot of free whiskey anyways.

The next day we headed to the stunningly beautiful Ha Long Bay. We boarded a junk that had cabins for all of us and were provided with lunch, dinner, breakfast, and lunch as we took in the epic scenery. I looked around me and all I could think of were Roger Dean's album covers from the 70s (more specifically Yes and Uriah Heap albums). We climbed a big hill, went kayaking under a rock and into a cool bay, and went into the huge caves where there's an illuminated red rock that looks exactly like a cock and ball satchel. Naomi, Lynette, and Kirsty made a little awards show. Though I got runner up for best quotes (I should have won), I took home the award for funniest moment of the tour...for falling of my bike. Bastards. If only they knew how much it hurt. It was all in good fun, though.

Returned to Hanoi yesterday, had an AMAZING gourmet dinner. I had hummus for a starter, roasted pork served over beets, mashed sweet potato and veggies for my main and shared probably the best lemon meringue pie i've ever had with Suze. Oh it was good. We then tried to make a night out with some karaoke, but it wasn't nearly as fun as a karaoke night in Japan is. Then we all said our goodbyes.

Woke up this morning and, at mom's suggestion, had the breakfast buffet at the Metropole, which is one of the worlds 500 best hotels apparently. It was DIVINE!!!

And that's it. 5 weeks in Southeast Asia have come and gone. Much like when I studied abroad in Tokyo, this has been one of the best experiences in my life that I know I will never forget. Also like my first summer in Tokyo, it's a little bitter-sweet because I know that even if I do come back here, it will never be the same, as I won't be with the same wonderful group of people who shaped so many of my good memories. I really do hope to return sooner than later though, especially to the beautiful people of Cambodia and Vietnam. It was a great trip, filled with good food, good times, and great people, even with the pain i've had to put up with this last week. Who knows, maybe I'll come back here and teach English or something. Either way, I'll never forget this beautiful place.